Onyourmind0's Journals

professional

professional bridge burner?
why yes, that would be me
I professionally burn bridges, maybe not for a living but definitely on a day to day basis.

the depressing truth

every once in a while i wake up to what feels like lips on my cheek but im always alone. i need you. it used to be everyday now it seems to only be late at night. sometimes i wish for you so hard that i cry. i cry for what we had, for how we'll never have it again and for how im responsible.
i'm done with being proud i want to be vulnerable again. i want to be free again.
im tied down with memories and regrets. im wide awake with feelings i cant shake. my choices have gotten worse, my judgement doesn't exist anymore. i feel more alone in a room full of people than any other time because they always look so alive and i always feel so dead. i dont even know how i really feel anymore. i force it all. i threw away making sense probably the same day i threw you away.

"i built you a home in my heart"

The nights are the worst
knowing youâ�™re so far away
I catch myself wondering;
â�œIs he thinking of me?â�

do you even matter?

metaphors are for liars
and i just write fiction
and you were 'a loose cannon'
my days are getting shorter and so are my words
and i've been speaking in fragments for days now.
and i'll be the curse on your boyfriends hips
i'll be waiting a month from now
and he'll crave my touch
and you'll know you can't do it like i do

....

I like the way your eyes are screaming at me.
weâ�™re silently anxious,
while my heartâ�™s bursting into a song
and I want to sing forever into your mouth.

sans title

im running in overdrive to a place far from where you are
and tonight while you danced alien dances in strangers beds, lightning ripped apart my skies.
i feel that im so high that comets are singing my hair and nebula's are resting on my shoulders.

Chase This Light

I drove home today for Christmas and almost died. The weather is completely terrible. It's been snowing like crazy lately, and then today it decided to rain. HORRIBLE! So anyways, some idiot cut me off and in an attempt to slow down I started to skid and spin and then I started spinning in circles and ended up in a ditch. Thankfully I didn't flip or anything, but still, scary as hell when you're alone.
I was not impressed.

So much SNOW! but now most of the streets in the cities are mini-lakes because of all the rain. Hopefully we still get a white Christmas. Fingers are crossed for that one.

I'm now sitting at home in my new robe and jammies! Every year my mom lets us open up one gift on Christmas eve. And that one gift is always pajamas.

Well I'm going to drink eggnog and sing Christmas carols now...ok I'm actually not but MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

where are you now?

Your hands are strong and shaking.
I could pretend its because of me,
but your five o'clock shadow is 24 hours old
and you are so disheveled in a beautiful way.
It's not my eyes that pierce you and cause your destruction.
I see you in the black and white and realize I dont need colour.
the contrast and the words; you are my destruction

are we going to make it?

Iâ�™m searching for white lights in blue skies. I need you to show me how to keep my feet on the ground. Iâ�™m spinning, spinning, spinning. Itâ�™s getting old.

Show me what home looks like.

"innocent and so naive"

We're stuttering, too busy
looking opposite ways
at the same place.
You make my knees fall to the ground
and I'm jealous of your bed.
I need words and more importantly
I need fingertips that convey a stronger point.